Archive for the ‘Other – Pregnancy & Parenting’ Category
September 7th, 2010 | 
Author: 
what.the… asked:
I got laid off work yesterday. I was bummed but at the same time I thought Great b/c now my husband and I can start a family! We’ve been married for 5 years and would love to have kids but all we could think about is can we afford it? Daycare costs food etc. We both thought about me staying home with the kids but I didn’t want to leave my job and could we even afford half of our income with a bigger family?
I got laid off work yesterday. I was bummed but at the same time I thought Great b/c now my husband and I can start a family! We’ve been married for 5 years and would love to have kids but all we could think about is can we afford it? Daycare costs food etc. We both thought about me staying home with the kids but I didn’t want to leave my job and could we even afford half of our income with a bigger family?
How does everyone do this? Right now I don’t know if I qualify for UI but leaving that out anyways b/c it will out at some point. We will be negative a month right now with out kids. I’m looking into assistance with my mortgage but it’s no guarantee. We don’t have excessive debt except for our car and mortgage.
I’ve been looking for jobs and just feel like is it worth looking for a job when I know we are going to have kids in the near future and would love to stay home with them anyways?
We have 1 car payment 257/mo and our mortgage is 1709 which I am working to get modified and my husband makes only 15.24/hr b/c he’s had his OT taken away and 2 pay reductions. Any advice? I know it sounds dumb but life is never perfect and I know this but just trying to make something work.
Eldridge Rodas
Posted in Other - Pregnancy & Parenting | 
Tags: Advice, Home With The Kids, Staying Home | 
4 Comments »
jociemom asked:
We are at a loss right now with coming to a decision & feel that we need to ask strangers for their opinion.
I am 35 and my hubby is 41. We have a 3 year old daughter (4 in Sept). We tried for 3 years to have a baby and finally did with the help of fertility drug use for 3 months. The drugs cost $50 a month at the time.
My boss was not happy about me having a baby at all. He forced me to take leave 1 month before I was due then fired me while on maternity leave. It took me about 6 months to find a job and during that time we lived on credit cards.
Right now, we are going through debt settlement because of it. Our credit is not great. We only have a 2 bed room house and probably won’t qualify for a loan to get another home.
At the end of Sept, I am having ****** reduction surgery and I couldn’t even try to get pregnant until at least 6 months to a year ofter due to complete healing time, but I wouldn’t be able to ****** feed.
My hubby and I have one sibling, and I have always imagined myself having 2 children.
I am very happy with our daughter, but when I hear that my friends are having more than 1 children, I am happy for them, but sad for myself.
Due to our situation, what do you suggest?
Our daughter is very active is groups and makes friends very easily. She is in preschool, library group, church group, and dance. We try to get her involved in social activities because of being an only child. There are times, though that it breaks my heart because she comments on having nobody to play with, but even if we do have another, there is going to be 5 + years between them.
I am not having children because my friends are! I said that I am happy for them but sad for myself! I am not trying to keep up with the Jone’s, but I am sad because I know that my dream of having 1 more will probably not come true! Having children is not a competition and I know that!
Luther Munkberg
We are at a loss right now with coming to a decision & feel that we need to ask strangers for their opinion.
I am 35 and my hubby is 41. We have a 3 year old daughter (4 in Sept). We tried for 3 years to have a baby and finally did with the help of fertility drug use for 3 months. The drugs cost $50 a month at the time.
My boss was not happy about me having a baby at all. He forced me to take leave 1 month before I was due then fired me while on maternity leave. It took me about 6 months to find a job and during that time we lived on credit cards.
Right now, we are going through debt settlement because of it. Our credit is not great. We only have a 2 bed room house and probably won’t qualify for a loan to get another home.
At the end of Sept, I am having ****** reduction surgery and I couldn’t even try to get pregnant until at least 6 months to a year ofter due to complete healing time, but I wouldn’t be able to ****** feed.
My hubby and I have one sibling, and I have always imagined myself having 2 children.
I am very happy with our daughter, but when I hear that my friends are having more than 1 children, I am happy for them, but sad for myself.
Due to our situation, what do you suggest?
Our daughter is very active is groups and makes friends very easily. She is in preschool, library group, church group, and dance. We try to get her involved in social activities because of being an only child. There are times, though that it breaks my heart because she comments on having nobody to play with, but even if we do have another, there is going to be 5 + years between them.
I am not having children because my friends are! I said that I am happy for them but sad for myself! I am not trying to keep up with the Jone’s, but I am sad because I know that my dream of having 1 more will probably not come true! Having children is not a competition and I know that!
Luther Munkberg
Posted in Other - Pregnancy & Parenting |
Tags: Debt Settlement, Having A Baby, Healing Time |
8 Comments »
Jimmy asked:
When we broke up she took me to court. My lawyer said there was no way that the judge was going to do shared custody even though the mother had mental problem and was an inpatient for two weeks during our breakup. The court then ordered me to pay 700 a month which I cant affordl. I was looking into bankruptcy before she and I broke up so but was told it wouldnt help because most of my debt in not dissovable? Her aunt works in the child support collections office and they already filed on me after two months with out giving me a chance to figure things out. During our breakup it was suggested to me by my supervisor that I put in my resignition because I was on my final warning so I did. I have yet to find another full time job. So far I am working in between two part time jobs and am looking for a third. I need this 700 a month reduced to something more managable until I get on top again and dont know what to do. I have been giving her $200 a month so far but know I need to give her more than that. I get my baby 11 to 12 days every month and she gets her the other 18-20 days a month so I take care of her a third of the time. I love her and want whats best for her and the best of things for her and her mother but she has to eat when she is by my house to and they are not making it financially possible for me. They did they support calculations assuming the mother has to make zero dollars and calculted it on a year when the company I was working for was severly understaffed and I worked lots of overtime ever month and nighttime shifts and weekend shifts. They also calculated before taxes and deductions were taken out of my check so the number they used to calculate the payment was about 35% higher then the amount that I actually take home after deducting state,federal, medicare, fica, and what ever else the payroll department comes up with. They also was taking out medical insurance and cafeteria food used for work. The courts also dont even care about how much it cost to continue to work such as car insurance, car notes, and food for the day. How do they expect you to work if you cant afford to get there and back? This is all to crazy and doesnt seem fair, I know thats my babys best interest isnt the court system running me into the ground until I cant do anything for her, ruining my credit until I cant get any loans, and losing my car and insurance because i cant afford to pay them. I know I have to eventually file for a reduction but I am not sure they will give it to me any more because I put in my resigination rather than let them fire me. Everyone said I should have let them fire me and collect unemployment but I told them you dont get unemployment if you get fired for showing up late or calling in sick. They then say well you should have been on time and not called in sick. I say it was a very hard time in my life, I was breaking up with the mother of my child and a woman I loved more than life itself and didnt know what to do. They then say you should have filed for custody when she was in the psyhc ward, and I say I didnt because I couldnt do that to her I just couldnt do it because I still loved her. Then they say you are stupid and theres nothing you can do now. I need help, some advice, someone on my side to see that all I want is a chance to be in my daughters life and a chance to make things better for my daughter than they were in my life. Once again running me into the ground I seriously do not believe is going to make that happen.
When we broke up she took me to court. My lawyer said there was no way that the judge was going to do shared custody even though the mother had mental problem and was an inpatient for two weeks during our breakup. The court then ordered me to pay 700 a month which I cant affordl. I was looking into bankruptcy before she and I broke up so but was told it wouldnt help because most of my debt in not dissovable? Her aunt works in the child support collections office and they already filed on me after two months with out giving me a chance to figure things out. During our breakup it was suggested to me by my supervisor that I put in my resignition because I was on my final warning so I did. I have yet to find another full time job. So far I am working in between two part time jobs and am looking for a third. I need this 700 a month reduced to something more managable until I get on top again and dont know what to do. I have been giving her $200 a month so far but know I need to give her more than that. I get my baby 11 to 12 days every month and she gets her the other 18-20 days a month so I take care of her a third of the time. I love her and want whats best for her and the best of things for her and her mother but she has to eat when she is by my house to and they are not making it financially possible for me. They did they support calculations assuming the mother has to make zero dollars and calculted it on a year when the company I was working for was severly understaffed and I worked lots of overtime ever month and nighttime shifts and weekend shifts. They also calculated before taxes and deductions were taken out of my check so the number they used to calculate the payment was about 35% higher then the amount that I actually take home after deducting state,federal, medicare, fica, and what ever else the payroll department comes up with. They also was taking out medical insurance and cafeteria food used for work. The courts also dont even care about how much it cost to continue to work such as car insurance, car notes, and food for the day. How do they expect you to work if you cant afford to get there and back? This is all to crazy and doesnt seem fair, I know thats my babys best interest isnt the court system running me into the ground until I cant do anything for her, ruining my credit until I cant get any loans, and losing my car and insurance because i cant afford to pay them. I know I have to eventually file for a reduction but I am not sure they will give it to me any more because I put in my resigination rather than let them fire me. Everyone said I should have let them fire me and collect unemployment but I told them you dont get unemployment if you get fired for showing up late or calling in sick. They then say well you should have been on time and not called in sick. I say it was a very hard time in my life, I was breaking up with the mother of my child and a woman I loved more than life itself and didnt know what to do. They then say you should have filed for custody when she was in the psyhc ward, and I say I didnt because I couldnt do that to her I just couldnt do it because I still loved her. Then they say you are stupid and theres nothing you can do now. I need help, some advice, someone on my side to see that all I want is a chance to be in my daughters life and a chance to make things better for my daughter than they were in my life. Once again running me into the ground I seriously do not believe is going to make that happen.
Help…
Jake Bogosh